It would be disingenuous to continue writing as if nothing had ever happened between last year and this year. In my opinion, it would be appropriate to give an explanation of some sort, and then move on to What’s Next… but that would be too linear, too perfectly contrived. The past year has been a mish-mash of happenings both positive and negative, but mostly neutral. Neutral is good though, because it means relative peace.
I’ve been working, but the pace (and the pay) is inconsistent. That’s the trade-off for freedom, which I accept. I can still complain, of course. What’s the fun in life if I can’t complain a little bit? Overall, it’s worth it. I believe that what I am doing will benefit people, that I can make them happy for a while, and that we will all feel like life is worth living.
So even if it’s difficult, we’ll just keep on grinding…
Anyway, onto lighter thoughts. Even though everyone says that people are in all different stages of life in their mid-twenties, it’s weird to actually see. The same group of people who huddled on the floor of the now-deceased South Building during lunch are now heading in vastly different directions. Some are engaged and wedding planning, some are employed by the school district, some are still in school, some are working to live and living to work… and just like how I couldn’t imagine being 25 back then, I can’t picture what we’ll all be like in 12 years. I look forward to seeing what everyone and everything will be like. More importantly, I hope we can maintain our friendship and trust in each other, so we can make it together to the next 12, 24, 48, [and so on] years.
Was that a lighter thought? It felt so to me, but maybe not. Perhaps because I have always felt like I am living on borrowed time, I try to be careful with what I say and do. I try to leave on a good note, or at least an uplifting one. Closure is subjective, and these days I will settle for any response (or even perceived response) instead of chasing after an imagined truth. Sometimes people are busy, so things are simply on hold. If I don’t have expectations, then I won’t be upset. Sure, I’ll be disappointed, but not surprised. I operate under the explicit presumption that others are kind and cooperative. It’s also a three-strikes system, but that’s also situational.
All in all though… I haven’t had much time to reflect. There’s a lot more “doing” than anything else, but I’m okay with it. For now, at least. Maybe I’ll write more Other Stuff at some point (though I always say that, and then promptly disappear for a few months). Who knows! The world is your oyster.
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