{"id":5324,"date":"2022-05-25T03:58:56","date_gmt":"2022-05-25T07:58:56","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/?p=5324"},"modified":"2022-05-25T03:58:59","modified_gmt":"2022-05-25T07:58:59","slug":"trying-one-more-time","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/2022-solar-terms\/trying-one-more-time\/","title":{"rendered":"trying one more time"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>\u5c0f\u6ee1\u3002<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-large\" src=\"https:\/\/64.media.tumblr.com\/6ade43c2772fcd67e4b821e82295ab31\/1fa4324f94264ad2-be\/s1280x1920\/7365175fa1563d3b6f47455a939be16b927632c7.jpg\" width=\"1280\" height=\"1024\" \/>For some reason, my original draft for this post disappeared. I was momentarily annoyed and frustrated, but then I thought about it. Everything I had written was garbage. It was the same empty shit as I have been regurgitating for the last few entries, and it was boring, useless, pointless, etcetera. What was the point of publishing what would essentially be half-asleep thoughts that went nowhere? The draft was in the same vein of post as my high school sad-posts, full of cowardly worries and bland recollections. What would be the point?<\/p>\n<p>I suppose that would be the question I&#8217;ve been thinking about the most recently. What was the point? Of working hard, of moving and moving again, of my thesis project, of making and breaking friendships after I got bored, of leaving and returning? I wonder. I read my post from last year for this solar term, and I was so positive. I was getting really good marks and having fun despite my solitude. Can I do that again? Can I have just a bit of that? I thought that once I rested up a bit, I&#8217;d be fine, but it&#8217;s been a month and I&#8217;m still so nervous.<\/p>\n<p>Anyway, I rediscovered my love of organization (and reorganization). First it was my desk area and all the books, then my siblings&#8217; books, then my sister&#8217;s closet(s); my photos and documents in my main laptop, and next up is probably the drawer that&#8217;s been untouched since I was mad in grade&#8230; 10 and threw away a lot of stuff. It&#8217;s been a while. I wonder if something interesting will happen soon. Whether it does or not, hopefully I don&#8217;t cause any chaos (lol). See you later.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>\u5c0f\u6ee1\u3002 For some reason, my original draft for this post disappeared. I was momentarily annoyed and frustrated, but then I&#8230;<\/p>\n<div class=\"more-link-wrapper\"><a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/2022-solar-terms\/trying-one-more-time\/\">Continue Reading<span class=\"screen-reader-text\">trying one more time<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5326,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"https:\/\/64.media.tumblr.com\/6ade43c2772fcd67e4b821e82295ab31\/1fa4324f94264ad2-be\/s1280x1920\/7365175fa1563d3b6f47455a939be16b927632c7.jpg","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[215],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5324","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2022-solar-terms","excerpt","even","excerpt-0"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5324","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5324"}],"version-history":[{"count":4,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5324\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5329,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5324\/revisions\/5329"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5326"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5324"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5324"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5324"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}