{"id":5042,"date":"2020-10-25T18:31:19","date_gmt":"2020-10-26T01:31:19","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/?p=5042"},"modified":"2020-10-25T18:32:39","modified_gmt":"2020-10-26T01:32:39","slug":"%e9%9c%9c%e9%99%8d","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/2020-solar-terms\/%e9%9c%9c%e9%99%8d\/","title":{"rendered":"\u971c\u964d"},"content":{"rendered":"

Descent of frost.<\/p>\n

\"\"
a little collage<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n

A bit late again, but it’s fine. I was listening to this a second ago: [slow\/oriental<\/a>]<\/p>\n

For a bit of a change, I’m feeling quite negatively about school. There’s problems I have with institutions as whole, with the way society (every time I write this word, it seems like it should have quotation marks around it) views post-secondary education, the pointlessness of my getting a degree, the lack of knowledge and skills or anything to prove that I did go to university other than a piece of paper I’m projected to receive in about a year and a half; the disillusionment has been growing ever since the beginning of this semester. It’s no thanks to a particular instructor I have this semester for 2\/5 classes. I’ve actually never heard rumours about this man (despite him saying so himself that he has a reputation for being difficult or something), but I’m not going to lie: they don’t seem unfounded. He regularly misinterprets not only the things I say, but written words. He’s (perhaps unintentionally) condescending, and every critique feels like a one-sided defense battle where I have to be careful of what I say or don’t say, and how I do that, and what does it mean? How do I define that? Is this the right term? Let me try again. Wait, no, never mind… that’s not what I meant. God, I can’t understand you.<\/p>\n

Anyway, I’ve been second-guessing whether I do want to be a Creative Person after all. Seems like the odds are stacked up against me, and I’m nothing special. Just a little neurotic and long-winded, very petty, and I have no real social skills. I emulate the successful people I have in my life, I watch television and tone down what I see from there. Perform it for everyone. I wonder where’s the line between being having a Personality, versus being an outcast with no chance of being socialized. Maybe there’s no line (I can hear my instructor’s voice right now), but I like to draw boundaries, so let me do that. Let me try to figure out how to sort and quantify every tiny thing I see, analyze and over-analyze everything so I can make peace with everything in my brain. I don’t think I have the skills or the heart to be Creative. I don’t have the interest, the passion, the background and connections. I’m all I got, I guess, and there really isn’t much here.<\/p>\n

Of course, I’m not making this a pity session where I divulge all my insecurities, childhood traumas, and regular traumas, this is just… well… evidence, I guess. Okay, it’s sort of a “woe is me” paragraph. I’m only a kid. You gotta let me whine once in a while. I just think maybe I’m not quite cut-out to participate in the art world. But I also don’t want to\u2014<\/span><\/span>nor can I afford to\u2014<\/span><\/span>attend more school. I guess I have a tentative plan right now for the foreseeable 3 years. I’m kidding, I don’t. I’m just gonna say, though: after 2020, I’m pretty sure I’m just fucking done with school for the time being.<\/p>\n

What else do I talk about here… the weather? It sure is cold again. A couple of days ago, it reached 20 degrees, but then there was a thunderstorm. What an anomaly. I’ll include the pentads for this term below as a closing. My reading break is in two weeks. Whether I’ll still be mentally sane (or at least my current state) or not is up to fate, so… guess we’ll see.<\/p>\n

\u8c7a\u4e43\u796d\u7378
\n\u8349\u6728\u9ec3\u843d
\n\u87c4\u87f2\u54b8\u4fef<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

 <\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Descent of frost. A bit late again, but it’s fine. I was listening to this a second ago: [slow\/oriental] For…<\/p>\n

Continue Reading\u971c\u964d<\/span><\/a><\/div>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":5046,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[213],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-5042","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-2020-solar-terms","excerpt","even","excerpt-0"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5042","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=5042"}],"version-history":[{"count":3,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5042\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":5049,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/5042\/revisions\/5049"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/5046"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=5042"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=5042"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.yinzhuohan.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=5042"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}